Once, a long time ago, a young man was told by his mentor to “be the best you can be at whatever you decide to be in life”. Now that young man is a little older and wiser, but not wise enough to see the woods for the trees at times. However, preparing for and taking a motorcycle tour of the Lake District with a teenager drew real parallels with Robert Pirzig’s lessons in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
I’ve not sent anywhere as much time riding over the last few years, as I’ve prioritized work and other things over getting out on the bike, this has taken its toll on my wellbeing and how I’ve actioned the words my mentor said to me. Perhaps the mentoring I’ve been doing with young people preparing themselves has eroded a different path toward what I want to prioritize over the next few years. Whatever led to this change, I know that a week of preparation and three days of riding and connecting with your teenage son will change the perspectives of even the most driven professional.
“I’m not sure what to do…” whispered ‘The Boy’ (a nickname given to my son, as the first male grandson and son on his mother’s side) on the drive up the M1 from down south. He’s a (nearly) fifteen-year-old lad that has the whole world set out before him, with the grades to do whatever he wants in life – everything I wasn’t at his age. As parents, we are unbelievably blessed. This does come with a different set of challenges, fortunately his old Dad leads Careers and knows where to take this conversation. We talk about what he wants to be remembered for, what makes him happy, and how he can combine these to forge out a career path for himself. He knows about ‘squiggly careers’ like mine, and that “plans never survive first contact with the enemy”, so understands that it is important to bend like a green reed as far as our futures are concerned. It was this conversation, with a smaller version of myself that triggered many little thoughts inside my crash helmet over the next three days on the road.
Riding a motorcycle can require every ounce of thought and concentration when you are riding ‘the twisties’ and “making good progress” as any experienced rider would say. When you’re used to riding around at speed, whether on the road or the track, slowing things down for a two-up ride through scenic countryside buys you some thinking time while you’re alone in your own bubble. I’ve read blogs by Claire Stoneman and Ben Newmark with different perspectives on the importance of teachers being in the classroom. On the last week of term also had my growth conversation (performance management in our trust is about engaging with your own growth and development) and was interviewed by Bennie Kara about leading Careers education. I know these recent interactions with more experienced educators were part of the lead-up to a personal revelation.
“Be the best you can be…” is something I’m always telling young people. It dawned on me, that by virtue of the universe and paths crossing, I have been led to Careers education as a specialism within our profession. I’m also in a school where I am trusted as an expert in this field and given real autonomy in how I lead this aspect of a school. I remember my interview for this role, where my Headteacher asked why I wanted to become a Headteacher – “I want to have a positive impact on a community, not just in my classroom” was my answer. He got it; leading Careers is not only a whole school role, but it permeates out to parents, colleges, universities and employers. The scope and remit of this role can be vast, especially given that I have taken this outside of its natural silo and worked on integrating this into our pastoral support offer. I have been guilty of focusing on the future, not the here and now – I’ve ignored the Zen nature of other aspects of my life in pursuit of a biased idea of what “the best” is. What if “the best” is what I’m doing this year? The next term? What if I have been too focused on the wrong role to bring fulfilment?
It is impossible to discuss the importance of being grounded in enjoying the purpose and passion that brings a sense of complete fulfilment in life without personal reflections. I’m not just a teacher and middle leader. I’m also a husband, father to a Student Nurse, GCSE student, a pre-schooler, and friend. I’ve been guilty of not being as present in those roles at times over the last ten years of a career change - being “the best” at one thing shouldn’t come at the expense of any of these. I’ve juggled the many roles a man of my age has and failed to put wellbeing anywhere near a priority. So, trapped in a crash helmet, playing over the hundreds of hours of advice I’ve passed on to the young people in my life I realized I am really bad at taking my own advice (anyone that knows me well will read this and laugh at this moment of self-realization – “It took how long?!”). How do I be more in the moment with each role I have in life, and how will this let me find success in all areas of my life?
Zen is the state of not worrying about things you cannot change, but becoming fully immersed in the things you do. In short, I believe this is about being in the moment. You can see this philosophy in the work of Japanese masters. There is both pride coupled with humility, alongside respect afforded to those that have dedicated the time needed to become an artisan. According to Pirzig, there is beauty in the pursuit of quality and honing what we do to an artform. He explains that being engaged is critical for excellence in what we do. So, there’s changes I need to make:
Firstly, some came before my growth meeting; I’m happy in proving my CV is ‘good enough’ to secure AHT interviews, and I thrive in a school where I’m trusted to lead as a professional and expert in what I do. If I only make it to UPS3 with a TLR, then I will retire with a better pension than my Army one. I have another 21 years left in teaching before this happens; lots can happen in this time. Professionally, I am in the right place at the right time, leading an area of school life that has real impact on lives. Can I really say I’m not somewhere close to “being the best at what I am doing in life” here?
Secondly, motorcycling is my way of grounding myself and being in the here and now. I’ve neglected this over the last few years, and my wellbeing has felt the lack of this in my life. I know that I need to make time for this to bring the headspace I need to pursue excellence in my professional life, yet there is much to maintaining and riding a motorcycle that benefits from a zen approach. I’m a former mechanic, so being on the spanners is a way of connecting with my first real successes in life and finding joy in perfecting the rebuild of any of the components that come together to carry you on something as liberating as riding a motorbike – feeling the warmth of the sun, smelling the rain on the wind, and being completely immersed in your travels is something that frees you from the weight of life at the moment.
Thirdly, I need to dedicate time to be a better father. I will be teaching The Boy how to restore a motorcycle of his own. I hope to pass on the wisdom of being zen about aspects of his own life. He’s quite a reserved lad, and I’ve seen him unable to contain his excitement about this. Being the father of a three-year-old is hard work, especially when you’re at the back end of your forties! What I love about this is how teaching has enabled me to be the primary caregiver for our youngest. We’ve been finding she has a real independent streak and wants to do whatever I am doing; she’s been on the spanners this summer! As is always the case with your eldest child, I’m now finding my feet with what my role is as a father to a nearly 20-year-old who is living her own life and succeeding at what she’d doing – whether she realises this herself or not. Being more present will mean.
Finally, The Midwife and I need to dedicate more time to one another. We’ve both had successes in our respective career-changes, and becoming parents to our youngest within these journeys has strengthened our family. Yet with shiftwork and school work I have been guilty of not finding the time to be grounded with the person that brought me this far over the last decade. We have forgotten that we need to live a little more in the moment while we have been working on the grand plans we made together through university.
What is “being the best you can be at whatever you do”? Well, it turns out that I’ve changed my perspectives and certainly my short-term goals, at least until the youngest gets settled in school. Being the best at what you do is not about being focused on the long-term goals you might have, rather it is being in the moment – in the here and now. Being the best version of yourself not simply for the person in front of you, but for yourself. Find the joy that a good explanation gives you, or witnessing students grasp a challenging concept. Discover pride in the curriculum plans you have made with your team, or how your CPD landed with colleagues. Take a moment to reflect on successes shared by SLT at work, you’ve earned that moment in the spotlight. Smile when your toddler wakes in the night and calls for you, because you are the only one that will make them feel better. Find a passion and find where this takes you. It doesn’t matter what it is, just that it helps you connect with you. There’s no such thing as not having the time – we all get the same 24 hours in a day. It’s a matter of priorities; to be the best at whatever you do, you need to remember to put yourself in this list to enable you to grow and find contentment in what you’re doing in life. After all, that’s what matters.